MacGuyver Mom

What would you do? When in a situation of despair, and the only thing you have is the sense God gave you, and your top notch Primma Donna bag.

Scenario 1: Your on a field trip, and your newly made friend is embarrassing herself and the rest of the moms, because her children are running around the children's museum like they are in an exhibition for kinesthetic role play. Bobby nose begins to bleed profusely, and Sara has already left to get Bobby's twin brother Michael out of the man's bathroom before its too late. What would MacGuyver Mom do? Look in your new Diane Von Furstenburg bag. Got it! Good! You reach for a tampon. You ram that tampon in his nose like good sex, and you stop the nose bleed. Yeah! You saved the day. 1 point for MacGuyver Mom.

Scenario 2: Oprah is on highlighting the influence of Edward and Jacob from the Twilight series on her show, and explaining how those characters have driven women to exercise, and stop drinking cocktails in the afternoon. Your children are outside of course playing unattended, with the neighbors' kids and you feel okay about it, because of the cost of your mortgage. You assume nothing could go wrong in this overpriced community. Your son runs in screaming, and falling down in pain, and itching erratically. You wait until a commercial comes on. He tells you that he was jumping over bushes, and believes he's dying. What would MacGuyver mom do? You look in your Versace python bag, and you remember that you gave all your hydro cortisone cream to your housekeeper who is functioning as a gardener this week, because the full time gardener got a case of poison ivy. You grab relief in a tube. The one thing that keeps any man away for 7 consecutive days, Monistat cream. You rub it all over his body, and you grab a bottle of Benadryl, and use it for its intended purpose rather than a sleep remedy. You did it again, you saved the day. Good Job! 2 points for MacGuyver Mom.