Primma Donna Momma

Primma Donna Momma

Monday, March 21, 2011

Mommies little secrets

What would we do without our mothers? A good mother has a way of making everything look picture perfect without letting you know how much effort was put into it. Mothers have such little secrets that allow the world to go round, the Earth to spin on an axis, and aliens to stay unseen. For example, when your sick and your tummy hurts who do you call? Your mommy. When the kids are picking on you in school and you feel like you don't have a single person to turn to, who do you call? Your mommy. Mommies are so important, sometimes we don't realize how important they are because we never see those little things.
How do they do it? My mom always managed to stay cheerful all day. She never raised her voice and always had a smile on her face. One time I told her that this big breasted girl in the 4th grade named Stacey was picking on me in school and she told me to pray about it. The next day it got better. My little brother used to run around like a motorcycle let loose in the house, then one day like magic he stopped. After a long day at work my mother always managed to have a four-course meal waiting on the table for us at dinner time. I remember on another occasion telling my mother that I had a little too much fun over spring break and how I was worried that my monthly would not come. She handed me a cup of hot chocolate and told me know need to worry and everything would be okay. My mom had a way of making everything alright. So when I gave birth to my first daughter my mother was right there with me and whispered in my ear I have a little secret to tell you. I knew that whatever she was about to tell me would be the best advice I would ever receive.
She said " You are a mommy now so its time for me to tell you mommies little secrets because now you too will have your own little secrets." She said, "Remember how that big breasted girl Stacey used to pick on you in school. I paid an eight grade boy to take her out and become her boyfriend. Remember how I always stayed happy and never sad. That was Prozac, honey. And remember how your brother used to run around like he had a V8 engine inside of him then one day he stopped. That was because I put Ritalin in his peanut butter sandwiches. You know how I always managed to cook a new meal every day. That was Boston market. And finally, remember how you had too much fun that one Spring break and I gave you some hot chocolate to make you feel better. It had the morning after pill in it. Well those are mommies little secrets and soon you will have some of your own. But remember not tell anyone your secrets. By the way your real daddy is the mail man."

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

I need a tinkle!!

What happened to the tingle? Married ladies remember when you were in high school with your teenage boy crush. Do you remember when he would touch you ever so slightly on the knee and thousands of lightning rods would shoot up your leg? Each time his hand touched your face, or your back you thought a buzzer had been placed in your underpants. Now your past is 20 and your future is 40 and your wondering when was the last time someone set your panties on fire, and I'm not talking about 1998 when you had a little too much fun during Spring Break.

What happened to the tingle in your life? The excitement! The chase! The cat and mouse game! Instead of setting the mood you ask "Hey you wanna do it?" Then you text each other what time to meet in the bedroom. No more undressing me with you eyes. Now its "take your flannel pajamas off but leave on the top" and "can you press pause on the dvr." Of course you lost your tingle you left it in Daytona Beach in 1998 and haven't felt it since. The closest you came to a tingle is before you traded your old washing machine for a non pulsating, non vibrating high efficiency washer and dryer. Your 3 year old daughter walks in while your busy folding clothes and reminiscing about the old days and says "Mommy I need to tinkle." And you say, "Tell me about it!"

Friday, February 18, 2011

Yesterday, I watched something remarkable occur

Yesterday, I watched something remarkable occur.

My son is in the third grade, and since the first grade I have fought tooth and nail with the school system to ensure that my son is provided all that the school has to offer. Because of my teaching experience and education I demand the best teacher and most highly qualified staff to assist in enriching my children's learning experience.

Throughout this experience I have drove the car and been the guiding force in my boys education. Of course we all know this is a woman's world. I mean woman run the economy, can unknowingly create wars, and are the reasons why health care wasn't free in the first place. With all this said of course we haven't turned to the men to solve this reoccurring problem of failing schools and unanswered questions. Most schools are a No Man's Land. I mean this literally. If your searching for a husband (meaning a man) then you will have a hard time finding one on the job if you are a teacher. Finding a man working at a school is like finding a $2.00 bill on the street, however you will have more luck finding one in a nail salon. The point is most school systems may have the men working as principals or serving on the Board of Education, but we all know who runs the schools, the teachers. Because most teachers are women we pretty much run the schools, too. However, for some odd reason, if you can believe it we still have not figured out why African Americans students, especially boys are continuing to score lower than African American students on standardized tests.

But yesterday, I watched something remarkable occur. My husband took over the steering wheel. This man has no teaching experience. Unlike my son's third grade teacher he has never been nominated as Teacher of the Year or held a teaching license in any state. He is educated and possesses a bachelor's degree in a field unrelated to education. I watched my husband instruct our child in a way that I have never seen demonstrated in all my years of teaching or being taught. He didn't talk our son to death, either. Most teachers like myself have a problem with allowing the students to lead the class. I think we feel like we have more control when we talk over the children and raise our voices louder when the principal walks in the room. My husband worked differently. He actually taught our son how to learn. He incorporated instructional strategies in his instruction like a veteran teacher. He repeated a lot of the questions he asked and did not tire out and attempt to answer his own questions like many of us teachers do when students stare blankly at us after being asked a question. He also asked him how does he know the answer was correct. Instead of just accepting that the child scored the correct answer he actually asked him how he figured the answer out to ensure that he had the correct answer.

Yesterday, was phenomenal. Just think if more fathers worked with their children the same way my husband worked with our son last night I think the closing of the achievement gap might just have a chance. I know sometimes (all the times) us women hate to admit when we are wrong, but I today I will give credit where it is due. I know James Brown was right when he sung "This is a Woman's World" (wink) but maybe we should play their song every now and then.